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Archive of: Self Esteem

  • How to Cultivate Greater Self-Worth

    How to Cultivate Greater Self-Worth

    Humour me for a moment and imagine that you have the power to clone yourself so that there are now two identical versions of you out there in the world. Now, let me ask you a question. If you were to meet this other ‘you’ would you be good friends? Would you like ‘you’? I often ask my clients this question and their response gives me an insight into how they see themselves. Their answer tells me a lot about their sense of self-worth and their self-esteem in that moment. Self-worth is defined as “the sense of one’s own value or worth as a person”. Self-esteem is defined as …

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  • How to Tame Your Inner Critic

    How to Tame Your Inner Critic

    Would it surprise you to learn that your worst enemy is probably living inside your own head? I’m sure you’ve heard of the term ‘inner critic’. In therapy this concept refers to a subpersonality that judges and demeans a person. We all have an internal voice that talks to us about ourselves. For many people, this internal voice is quite negative. If left untamed, it can turn into a constant negative internal commentary on who they are and how they behave - one that can drag them down mentally and emotionally. Perhaps you can relate to some of these common inner critic statements…

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  • How Much Power Do You Think You Have Over Your Life?

    How Much Power Do You Think You Have Over Your Life?

    The concept of personal power is one that I deal with a lot in my work. Put simply, this is the degree of influence a person feels they have over their experience and circumstances in life. One of the key goals of therapy is to move a person from a place of disempowerment to a place of empowerment. A disempowered person believes they have no control or power over their circumstances and experience of life. An empowered person believes that they do. When I begin working with a new client one of the first things I do is ….

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  • What Should We Tell Our Sons?

    What Should We Tell Our Sons?

    If there is one message that any young man who would like to feel happy, healthy and content needs to internalise, it is to let go of other people’s expectations. As parents it is often our expectations of our sons that have the potential to cause them the most harm. Young men are bombarded with “You should…” messages from an early age. These messages are always well-intentioned, and can include expectations on their behaviour, friendships, academic achievement, relationships, career choices and social activities.

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  • Are You Neglecting the Most Important Person in Your Life?

    Are You Neglecting the Most Important Person in Your Life?

    As human beings we are continually in relationship, all day and every day, for the whole of our lives. Sometimes it is with other living beings: humans and animals. Sometimes it’s with inanimate objects - food, clothes, money - or ideas. There is one relationship, above all others, that is critical to our wellbeing. It is impossible to live a peaceful, healthy, happy life if this relationship is not monitored and managed adequately. The relationship to which I’m referring is the one we have with ourselves. Let me ask you a question. How do you habitually relate to yourself? …

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  • The Habits of Happy People: They Are Socially Selective

    The Habits of Happy People: They Are Socially Selective

    They ensure that their tribe is a positive and empowering one. They know that the people they hang around with affect their mental, emotional, spiritual and physical health so they choose them carefully. They use their feelings to identify the negative, manipulative, toxic people and simply cut them out of their life. And, if they can’t, they put up strong boundaries. They know that this is an issue of…

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  • Are You Being Bullied Without Even Knowing?

    Are You Being Bullied Without Even Knowing?

    I would like to think that, if I were being bullied, I would recognise it and do something about the situation. Wouldn’t you? Bullying is when one person uses their superior strength or influence to intimidate another person, typically to force them to do something. I’ve been asked to write about this issue by a client who, through our work together, has discovered that the controlling behaviour and shrewdness…

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  • Habits of Happy People: They Don't Compare Themselves With Others

    Habits of Happy People: They Don't Compare Themselves With Others

    They know that there is little, if anything, to be gained from this habit. They know that this tendency damages their sense of self, kills joy and breeds feelings of envy, low self-confidence and depression. They know that people present an edited version of themselves to the world so what they are comparing against is not real. They know that there is always someone out there who is bigger, better, and more…

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  • Feel Good Factor: Dance!

    Feel Good Factor: Dance!

    Did you know that dancing is one of the most fun and effective ways to get a complete mind and body workout? Studies show that dancing can instantly lift your mood, help reduce stress, increase energy levels, improve flexibility, increase muscle tone and strength, increase bone density, reduce the risk of cardiovascular disease and aid weight loss. It also boosts self-confidence and self esteem…

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  • Always Feeling Bad About Not Getting Things Done?

    Always Feeling Bad About Not Getting Things Done?

    If there is one thing that can really damage a person’s sense of self, cause unnecessary stress, and lead to constant feelings of misery and guilt, it is the habit of procrastination. Self-sabotage comes in many shapes and sizes but procrastination is by far the most common. Are you a procrastinator? Are you always putting things off until tomorrow? How does that make you feel? Good about yourself…

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