02 January 2020
It’s the start of a new year – and a new decade. A time when many of us feel an inner nudge to make changes. It’s certainly a good time to reflect and consider the direction our lives are taking. I believe one of the most important questions to ask ourselves is this: Whose life am I actually living? My own or the one other people want for me? Are you living the life you want, or are you still caught up in trying to meet other people’s expectations? As a therapist, I see …
11 November 2019
Have you ever come close to achieving a personal goal or fulfilling a long-held desire, only to somehow mess things up at the last minute? Do you have goals or intentions but find that instead of moving towards them, they drift further away from you? Are you making excuses or keeping busy with distractions rather than pursuing the things you want? If this sounds familiar, you’re engaging in self-sabotage – a problem I come across a lot in my coaching work …
14 October 2019
Every day in my practice I work with people who are smart, empowered and committed to bettering their lives. They may be facing challenges, but they show up to appointments, and they invest time, money and energy on their personal growth. Usually, they’ve appeared at my door because their situation has come to a head. They’re feeling distressed, confused and unhappy and need some external support to work through their issues. One of the things I bring to the table is …
02 September 2019
Let me ask, do you feel helpless when you’re going through a tough time and feeling down? As if there’s nothing you can do to get yourself out of that state? We’d all like to feel good all of the time, but, inevitably, we go through periods when we feel demotivated and irritable, or worse unhappy and upset. I can recall a time in my younger life when I struggled to manage my emotional state. Feelings of tension and unease were my constant companions …
28 July 2019
I found myself dealing with a very forceful woman the other day who just wouldn’t accept that I couldn’t give her an appointment because I was fully booked up. She refused to hear what I was saying and continued to push at my personal boundaries for several minutes. Feeling the pressure building up inside me, I had to fight with every fibre of my being to not fall back into an old pattern of mine: being a people-pleaser. There was a time in my life when …
24 June 2019
I don’t know about you, but I’m instinctively drawn to people who are authentic – people who are real, genuine and down-to-earth. There are no airs and graces, no pretences, no fakery. It’s only just dawned on me that whenever I meet someone new, I use this one trait to determine whether I want to pursue a personal or business connection with them. And I don’t think I’m the only one. Whether consciously or unconsciously, I believe many of us seek out people who are authentic. Here’s why.
10 April 2019
I witness a lot of heartache in my therapy work. One of the biggest causes is rejection. The circumstances may be different: for one person it’s being told by their spouse of twenty-five years that he or she wants a divorce, for another it’s not being asked out on a second date; for someone else it’s not getting the job they wanted after an interview, or being slighted by a close friend; rejection comes in many forms. But the feelings that arise from it are always the same: pain, anger, disappointment, self-doubt, sadness and despair. I’m pretty sure you can relate to these feelings …
25 February 2019
Would you ever leave your house without securing the doors and windows? Or, leave your car unattended, unlocked, with the windows down?
I’m sure you wouldn’t. No one wants their property ransacked, stolen or tampered with.
I find it interesting that we all invest a considerable amount of time and energy in keeping our belongings safe, yet when it comes to keeping ourselves safe, psychologically and energetically, we pay far less attention.
06 December 2018
You probably know as well as I do that the quality of our relationships directly affects the quality of our lives. Healthy relationships are good for us. They have a positive effect on our mental and physical health, enhance our lives, help us grow into better versions of ourselves, and even cause us to live longer. Unhealthy relationships are not good for us. They have an adverse effect on our mental and physical health; they diminish the quality of our lives, cause us pain and hurt, and degrade us. People who value their inner peace and happiness always keep their relationships under regular review …
01 November 2018
You may recall that last month I began a series of newsletters focusing on the personal habits of happy people. Happy people tend to think and behave in ways that allow them to feel peaceful and content, no matter what’s going on around them. With a little effort, we can all learn to do this. The first of these habits, which I wrote about last time, was letting go of grudges. This month I’m going to focus on happiness habit two: how to not take things too personally. I think you’ll agree that many people struggle with this one. Someone says or does something, and before you know it your mood has plummeted and you’re upset or angry….