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Archive of: Emotional Wellbeing

  • How to Not Take Things so Personally

    How to Not Take Things so Personally

    You may recall that last month I began a series of newsletters focusing on the personal habits of happy people. Happy people tend to think and behave in ways that allow them to feel peaceful and content, no matter what’s going on around them. With a little effort, we can all learn to do this. The first of these habits, which I wrote about last time, was letting go of grudges. This month I’m going to focus on happiness habit two: how to not take things too personally. I think you’ll agree that many people struggle with this one. Someone says or does something, and before you know it your mood has plummeted and you’re upset or angry….

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  • How to Let Go of a Grudge

    How to Let Go of a Grudge

    Do you know that you can learn to be happy? And that ultimately happiness is a choice that you make? Sure, there are circumstances in life that can strip you of your contentment, joy and wellbeing, but most of the time the only person stopping you being happy right now is you. It’s amazing how many people spend a large proportion, if not all, of their lives waiting to be happy, as if it’s some elusive thing far off in the distant future that’s dependent on health, wealth, status and perfect relationships. But happiness doesn’t come from these things. It comes from within…

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  • How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

    How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

    Do you constantly compare yourself to other people? Do you often find yourself thinking that other people have more than you or are better than you? The comparison game is as old as humanity itself. I guess we all want to know how we measure up to other people. This drive is a part of our innate desire to understand ourselves, and our place in society. In recent times, however, social comparison has risen to a whole new level thanks to social media. It’s almost become an epidemic. Theodore Roosevelt said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” And he was right…

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  • How to Ditch the Drama

    How to Ditch the Drama

    Is there someone in your life who’s always creating drama? You know, the person who constantly overreacts to everyday events and behaves in a melodramatic, attention-seeking way. They always have a crisis going on: always someone to be angry with, something to complain about, something to cry about. Peace and balance are not qualities that you can readily associate with this person. In fact, conflict with others seems to be their natural default position. If you’ve ever associated with someone who loves drama…

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  • How to Handle Overwhelm

    How to Handle Overwhelm

    Overwhelm. I bet you’ve been there; the times when you’ve almost been immobilised by having too much to do and too little time to do it in. I know I have. Very many times in fact, especially when I was younger. Life is a constant juggling act, and every now and again we are all faced with the fear that we have more on our plates than we can handle. I think I can speak for everyone when I say that there’s nothing worse than that sickening feeling that arises when you think the intensity of your thoughts and emotions is about to get the better of you…

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  • How to Cultivate Greater Self-Worth

    How to Cultivate Greater Self-Worth

    Humour me for a moment and imagine that you have the power to clone yourself so that there are now two identical versions of you out there in the world. Now, let me ask you a question. If you were to meet this other ‘you’ would you be good friends? Would you like ‘you’? I often ask my clients this question and their response gives me an insight into how they see themselves. Their answer tells me a lot about their sense of self-worth and their self-esteem in that moment. Self-worth is defined as “the sense of one’s own value or worth as a person”. Self-esteem is defined as …

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  • How to Tame Your Inner Critic

    How to Tame Your Inner Critic

    Would it surprise you to learn that your worst enemy is probably living inside your own head? I’m sure you’ve heard of the term ‘inner critic’. In therapy this concept refers to a subpersonality that judges and demeans a person. We all have an internal voice that talks to us about ourselves. For many people, this internal voice is quite negative. If left untamed, it can turn into a constant negative internal commentary on who they are and how they behave - one that can drag them down mentally and emotionally. Perhaps you can relate to some of these common inner critic statements…

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  • Alleviate Suffering by Changing Your Perspective

    Alleviate Suffering by Changing Your Perspective

    I don’t know what’s been going on with the planet’s energy patterns recently, but these last few months have been tough. Have you found that too? I certainly have. I’ve seen difficult issues surface in my own life, my family’s lives and in my clients’ lives. Everyone seems to be sicker, more fearful, and more distressed than usual. At the end of March I was told I was burnt out, so I took heed and had a complete break from everything: this did me immense good. I now feel like I’m getting back to my usual positive and energetic self. The time out not only allowed me to regenerate and rejuvenate …

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  • The Gentle Art of Saying ‘No’

    The Gentle Art of Saying ‘No’

    Emotional overwhelm is something that brings many people to my practice. For them life has simply got out of control. There are too many people making too many demands … too much to do in too little time … too many expectations and not enough energy to deal with them all. The result is anxiety which, if left unchecked, leads to mental, emotional and physical breakdown. We all experience overwhelming feelings. I’m guessing you know what that’s like. I certainly do. In fact, I used to get overwhelmed a lot. Nowadays, though, it’s less the feeling of overwhelm that I deal with than the …

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  • How to Recognise and Deal with Your Anxiety Type

    How to Recognise and Deal with Your Anxiety Type

    I was rather taken aback recently when I saw that in October this year 22,573 searches were carried out on the Counselling Directory using the keyword ‘anxiety’? I don’t know why that surprised me. We all know that one in four of us will experience some sort of mental health problem each year, and anxiety is certainly the most prevalent issue that brings people to my counselling and coaching practice. If you’ve read some of my earlier blogs, you’ll know that generalised anxiety and panic disorder plagued …

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