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Archive of: Difficult Emotions

  • How to Not Take Things so Personally

    How to Not Take Things so Personally

    You may recall that last month I began a series of newsletters focusing on the personal habits of happy people. Happy people tend to think and behave in ways that allow them to feel peaceful and content, no matter what’s going on around them. With a little effort, we can all learn to do this. The first of these habits, which I wrote about last time, was letting go of grudges. This month I’m going to focus on happiness habit two: how to not take things too personally. I think you’ll agree that many people struggle with this one. Someone says or does something, and before you know it your mood has plummeted and you’re upset or angry….

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  • How to Let Go of a Grudge

    How to Let Go of a Grudge

    Do you know that you can learn to be happy? And that ultimately happiness is a choice that you make? Sure, there are circumstances in life that can strip you of your contentment, joy and wellbeing, but most of the time the only person stopping you being happy right now is you. It’s amazing how many people spend a large proportion, if not all, of their lives waiting to be happy, as if it’s some elusive thing far off in the distant future that’s dependent on health, wealth, status and perfect relationships. But happiness doesn’t come from these things. It comes from within…

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  • How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

    How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

    Do you constantly compare yourself to other people? Do you often find yourself thinking that other people have more than you or are better than you? The comparison game is as old as humanity itself. I guess we all want to know how we measure up to other people. This drive is a part of our innate desire to understand ourselves, and our place in society. In recent times, however, social comparison has risen to a whole new level thanks to social media. It’s almost become an epidemic. Theodore Roosevelt said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” And he was right…

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  • How to Handle Overwhelm

    How to Handle Overwhelm

    Overwhelm. I bet you’ve been there; the times when you’ve almost been immobilised by having too much to do and too little time to do it in. I know I have. Very many times in fact, especially when I was younger. Life is a constant juggling act, and every now and again we are all faced with the fear that we have more on our plates than we can handle. I think I can speak for everyone when I say that there’s nothing worse than that sickening feeling that arises when you think the intensity of your thoughts and emotions is about to get the better of you…

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  • How to Handle Difficult People

    How to Handle Difficult People

    Christmas is meant to be a time of joy, peace and merriment. I think there’s a part of all of us that buys into that fairytale image of an open log fire, a beautifully decked out tree, piles of presents, cards, food, drink and a smiling, loving family. Yes, that’s right … I said ‘family’. For some people that word is enough to pop the fantasy bubble right away! Most of us get to spend time with family at Christmas. But, for some, that reality is about as far away from joy, peace and merriment as you can get. In fact, it’s often the cause of great anxiety and dread. A couple of people have articulated this sentiment in my …

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  • Dealing with Shame: How to Weaken its Destructive Hold over You

    Dealing with Shame: How to Weaken its Destructive Hold over You

    Have you ever felt shame? I’m sure you have at some point in your life. All of us have. Shame is that awful feeling of being worthless, rejected or cast out. Deeply painful, it brings humiliation and distress in its wake. Its close cousin is guilt. Guilt shows up when you believe you have done something bad; shame shows up when you believe you are bad, so much so, that you are totally unlovable. Shame’s toxicity does not end there though. It also carries with it a sense of helplessness, that there is nothing you can do to purge yourself of its burdensome and soul-crushing presence…

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  • Alleviate Suffering by Changing Your Perspective

    Alleviate Suffering by Changing Your Perspective

    I don’t know what’s been going on with the planet’s energy patterns recently, but these last few months have been tough. Have you found that too? I certainly have. I’ve seen difficult issues surface in my own life, my family’s lives and in my clients’ lives. Everyone seems to be sicker, more fearful, and more distressed than usual. At the end of March I was told I was burnt out, so I took heed and had a complete break from everything: this did me immense good. I now feel like I’m getting back to my usual positive and energetic self. The time out not only allowed me to regenerate and rejuvenate …

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  • How to Recognise and Deal with Your Anxiety Type

    How to Recognise and Deal with Your Anxiety Type

    I was rather taken aback recently when I saw that in October this year 22,573 searches were carried out on the Counselling Directory using the keyword ‘anxiety’? I don’t know why that surprised me. We all know that one in four of us will experience some sort of mental health problem each year, and anxiety is certainly the most prevalent issue that brings people to my counselling and coaching practice. If you’ve read some of my earlier blogs, you’ll know that generalised anxiety and panic disorder plagued …

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  • How to Transform Your Emotional State Through the Power of Reframing

    How to Transform Your Emotional State Through the Power of Reframing

    Can you recall the last time you felt bad about something in your life? Do you remember how you felt - and why you felt that way? What would you say if I told you that you could have used a simple technique to instantly transform your emotions and feel better? And that it’s something you can easily learn to do. One of the greatest shifts I made on my own personal development journey was to realise that everything I experienced in life was actually happening entirely in my own mind and body…

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  • The Healing Power of Writing

    The Healing Power of Writing

    When was the last time you had some kind of emotional meltdown? Perhaps you lost your cool with someone … or suffered a debilitating wave of anxiety … were plagued by intense, painful feelings of guilt … or felt overwhelmed by grief and sadness. We’ve all experienced moments when our emotions have got the better of us - moments that have left us feeling vulnerable, confused and lost. Do you know that there’s something you can do in those very moments to help yourself? Something that…

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