holistic life coaching and counselling
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Archive of: Happiness

  • Are You a Silent Prisoner of Shame?

    If I were to name one thing that has the most impact on a person’s happiness and experience of life, it would be their self-worth. Our level of self-worth affects everything – from our health and relationships to our careers and financial abundance. So, let me ask, where do you stand on the spectrum of self-worth? Do you feel good about yourself? Do you love and accept yourself, warts and all? Or are you ‘self-rejecting’, always finding reasons to …

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  • New Podcast: Alleviate Suffering by Changing Your Perspective

    The latest episode of my podcast is online. In this one, I focus on how we can deal with difficult thoughts and feelings by changing our perspective. It can’t have escaped your notice that we are living through some pretty crazy times. 2020 will definitely go down in history as a year of uncertainty, unpredictability and unprecedented change; a year when the very foundations of our lives were seriously challenged. If, like me, you’re living in the UK …

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  • Is Unresolved Sadness Keeping You Stuck?

    How comfortable are you dealing with feelings of sadness? Do you allow yourself to be present with them, or do you do everything in your power to run away from them and pretend they’re not there, busying yourself with distractions? In my experience, many people do the latter. There appears to be a collective discomfort around owning our sadness, facing it, and allowing it full expression. Perhaps more than any other emotion, it’s one that people tend to deny …

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  • Find a Creative Pursuit for a Happier, More Balanced Life

    The psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi says that “when we are involved in creativity, we feel that we are living more fully than during the rest of life.” I can certainly vouch for that. The times when I feel the most alive, energised, ‘in the flow’ and relaxed are usually when I’m doing something creative. I love to knit, crochet and sew, and one of my favourite pastimes is making knitted toys and little rag dolls to give away as gifts. These activities really help me to …

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  • Natural Ways to Lift Your Mood

    Let me ask, do you feel helpless when you’re going through a tough time and feeling down? As if there’s nothing you can do to get yourself out of that state? We’d all like to feel good all of the time, but, inevitably, we go through periods when we feel demotivated and irritable, or worse unhappy and upset. I can recall a time in my younger life when I struggled to manage my emotional state. Feelings of tension and unease were my constant companions …

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  • How to Handle Overwhelm

    Overwhelm. I bet you’ve been there; the times when you’ve almost been immobilised by having too much to do and too little time to do it in. I know I have. Very many times in fact, especially when I was younger. Life is a constant juggling act, and every now and again we are all faced with the fear that we have more on our plates than we can handle. I think I can speak for everyone when I say that there’s nothing worse than that sickening feeling that arises when you think the intensity of your thoughts and emotions is about to get the better of you…

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  • How to Cultivate Greater Self-Worth

    Humour me for a moment and imagine that you have the power to clone yourself so that there are now two identical versions of you out there in the world. Now, let me ask you a question. If you were to meet this other ‘you’ would you be good friends? Would you like ‘you’? I often ask my clients this question and their response gives me an insight into how they see themselves. Their answer tells me a lot about their sense of self-worth and their self-esteem in that moment. Self-worth is defined as “the sense of one’s own value or worth as a person”. Self-esteem is defined as …

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  • Dealing with Shame: How to Weaken its Destructive Hold over You

    Have you ever felt shame? I’m sure you have at some point in your life. All of us have. Shame is that awful feeling of being worthless, rejected or cast out. Deeply painful, it brings humiliation and distress in its wake. Its close cousin is guilt. Guilt shows up when you believe you have done something bad; shame shows up when you believe you are bad, so much so, that you are totally unlovable. Shame’s toxicity does not end there though. It also carries with it a sense of helplessness, that there is nothing you can do to purge yourself of its burdensome and soul-crushing presence…

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  • How to Tame Your Inner Critic

    Would it surprise you to learn that your worst enemy is probably living inside your own head? I’m sure you’ve heard of the term ‘inner critic’. In therapy this concept refers to a subpersonality that judges and demeans a person. We all have an internal voice that talks to us about ourselves. For many people, this internal voice is quite negative. If left untamed, it can turn into a constant negative internal commentary on who they are and how they behave - one that can drag them down mentally and emotionally. Perhaps you can relate to some of these common inner critic statements…

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  • The Gentle Art of Saying ‘No’

    Emotional overwhelm is something that brings many people to my practice. For them life has simply got out of control. There are too many people making too many demands … too much to do in too little time … too many expectations and not enough energy to deal with them all. The result is anxiety which, if left unchecked, leads to mental, emotional and physical breakdown. We all experience overwhelming feelings. I’m guessing you know what that’s like. I certainly do. In fact, I used to get overwhelmed a lot. Nowadays, though, it’s less the feeling of overwhelm that I deal with than the …

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