How to Stop Being a People-Pleaser
Those of you who are familiar with my work will know that I confess to being a recovered people pleaser. There was a time in my life when I’d bend over backwards to keep everyone else happy. I valued other people’s needs more than my own, tried hard to fit in and would automatically say yes to whatever was asked of me. It wasn’t until the stress I was under became unbearable that I realised something was seriously wrong. There was so much pressure in my life that I was left with no choice but to dig deep and change the way I related not only to others but also myself. It took some work but I turned myself around. How about you? Are you exhausted from being all things to all people? Are you forever trying to please others to the point where you feel like you’re losing yourself?
How to Cope with Being a Highly Sensitive Person
Do you consider yourself to be a sensitive person? Someone who feels everything deeply. Someone who is naturally attuned to the feelings of others. Someone who needs a lot of time alone to unwind and recharge. As a child, perhaps you were described as ‘timid’, ‘shy’, ‘soft’ or ‘emotional’ by your teachers and caregivers. Bright lights, loud noises, strong smells and crowds can be difficult to tolerate. You startle easily. In chaotic, complex or tense situations you feel …
Are You a People-Pleaser?
I found myself dealing with a very forceful woman the other day who just wouldn’t accept that I couldn’t give her an appointment because I was fully booked up. She refused to hear what I was saying and continued to push at my personal boundaries for several minutes. Feeling the pressure building up inside me, I had to fight with every fibre of my being to not fall back into an old pattern of mine: being a people-pleaser. There was a time in my life when …
How to Handle Overwhelm
Overwhelm. I bet you’ve been there; the times when you’ve almost been immobilised by having too much to do and too little time to do it in. I know I have. Very many times in fact, especially when I was younger. Life is a constant juggling act, and every now and again we are all faced with the fear that we have more on our plates than we can handle. I think I can speak for everyone when I say that there’s nothing worse than that sickening feeling that arises when you think the intensity of your thoughts and emotions is about to get the better of you …
The Gentle Art of Saying ‘No’
Emotional overwhelm is something that brings many people to my practice. For them life has simply got out of control. There are too many people making too many demands … too much to do in too little time … too many expectations and not enough energy to deal with them all. The result is anxiety which, if left unchecked, leads to mental, emotional and physical breakdown. We all experience overwhelming feelings. I’m guessing you know what that’s like. I certainly do. In fact, I used to get overwhelmed a lot. Nowadays, though, it’s less the feeling of overwhelm that I deal with than the …
How to Recognise and Deal with Your Anxiety Type
I was rather taken aback recently when I saw that in October this year 22,573 searches were carried out on the Counselling Directory using the keyword ‘anxiety’? I don’t know why that surprised me. We all know that one in four of us will experience some sort of mental health problem each year, and anxiety is certainly the most prevalent issue that brings people to my counselling and coaching practice. If you’ve read some of my earlier blogs, you’ll know that generalised anxiety and panic disorder plagued …
Always Feeling Bad about Not Getting Things Done?
If there is one thing that can really damage a person’s sense of self, cause unnecessary stress, and lead to constant feelings of misery and guilt, it is the habit of procrastination. Self-sabotage comes in many shapes and sizes but procrastination is by far the most common. Are you a procrastinator? Are you always putting things off until tomorrow? How does that make you feel? Good about yourself …
Declutter 6 Areas of Your Life and Regain Your Power
Do you find it difficult to operate in a chaotic or cluttered environment? I certainly do. My stress levels rise and I find it hard to focus. My productivity, creativity and sense of wellbeing are all adversely affected. Earlier in life, I used to perceive clutter simply in terms of the things in my physical space. Nowadays my interpretation has widened considerably and extends to different parts of both my inner and outer world …
Does Worry Blight Your Life?
If there is one thing that can really cast a shadow over a person’s inner world it is worry. We all do it from time to time but for some people it becomes an incessant activity that has a direct and detrimental effect on their happiness and wellbeing. When I look back at my younger days I am stunned at how much time and energy I spent worrying. I worried about everything; exams, my health, ensuring there …