How to Stop Being a People-Pleaser
Those of you who are familiar with my work will know that I confess to being a recovered people pleaser. There was a time in my life when I’d bend over backwards to keep everyone else happy. I valued other people’s needs more than my own, tried hard to fit in and would automatically say yes to whatever was asked of me. It wasn’t until the stress I was under became unbearable that I realised something was seriously wrong. There was so much pressure in my life that I was left with no choice but to dig deep and change the way I related not only to others but also myself. It took some work but I turned myself around. How about you? Are you exhausted from being all things to all people? Are you forever trying to please others to the point where you feel like you’re losing yourself?
Are You a People-Pleaser?
I found myself dealing with a very forceful woman the other day who just wouldn’t accept that I couldn’t give her an appointment because I was fully booked up. She refused to hear what I was saying and continued to push at my personal boundaries for several minutes. Feeling the pressure building up inside me, I had to fight with every fibre of my being to not fall back into an old pattern of mine: being a people-pleaser. There was a time in my life when …
How to Be Authentic and Why It’s Important
I don’t know about you, but I’m instinctively drawn to people who are authentic – people who are real, genuine and down-to-earth. There are no airs and graces, no pretences, no fakery. It’s only just dawned on me that whenever I meet someone new, I use this one trait to determine whether I want to pursue a personal or business connection with them. And I don’t think I’m the only one. Whether consciously or unconsciously, I believe many of us seek out people who are authentic. Here’s why …
Is Failing to Speak Up at the Root of Your Ailments?
Do you experience any of the following physical symptoms: a frequent sore throat; tightness in your jaw or a tendency to grind your teeth; thyroid problems; frequent ear infections; persistent stiffness in your neck and/or shoulders; a stammer? Or perhaps you’ve noticed that one or a few of the following apply to you: you have a weak and quiet voice; you struggle to speak up and express yourself; you constantly fear and doubt the intentions of others …
Can You Seriously Afford to Not Speak Your Truth?
‘Ek chup, sau sukh’ is a saying from my culture, which if you share my Indian heritage you will definitely have heard many times. Loosely translated it means ‘staying quiet (and, I’ll add, compliant) leads to greater ease in life’. I grew up with this message. I consider it to be one of the gems of wisdom my mother passed onto me; one that has stood me in good stead over the years. There is definitely …
What Does Speaking Your Truth Actually Mean?
The inability to speak one’s truth is a common cause of deep unhappiness. Not being able to communicate our wishes and needs to those around us in a firm, clear, polite way means that at best, our needs are not met and at worst, we are misunderstood, ignored, side-lined or simply walked all over. I often ask people if they speak their truth, and point out that it is important to do so if they are to …