Reconnect with Your Inner Child and Heal Your Life
Do you ever find yourself wondering why you keep repeating behaviours that aren’t good for you? Or why certain people and situations trigger you emotionally, to the point where you’re not in control of yourself? Or why you have trouble sticking to decisions and achieving the things you want in life? These issues show up a lot in my therapy room and there’s usually one thing that lies at the root of the problem: an unhealed inner child. So, what is the inner child and how does it come to be an issue? The inner child is the part of us that represents the child we used to be; the part that carries the imprint of all our childhood experiences, the good and the bad. If your inner child is healthy and well-nurtured, then you will tend to approach life …
How to Find Freedom from Fear and Live Your Purpose
It’s no secret that people who embody a sense of purpose live longer, happier and more fulfilled lives. Every day I meet people who long to realise this aspiration. People who feel a strong impulse to align their work in the world to who they really are, to live their lives authentically, and to be of service to others. Since you’re reading this, I’m guessing you feel this way too. Deep down, you yearn to follow your heart; to reach for the vision that emanates from the highest aspects of your being. Except that … one thing keeps stopping you in your tracks. FEAR …
Are You Struggling to Find Your Purpose in Life?
2020 was an extraordinary year. Not only did we witness a massive upheaval on the physical plane, affecting everything from our livelihoods to family life, we also saw a huge spiritual awakening occur right across the globe. For many it was a crisis or unforeseen change in circumstances, for others simply the gift of more time that compelled them to go inwards; to connect with the deeper parts of their being and reflect deeply on their lives. Why am I here? What fulfils me? What’s my purpose? These questions inevitably surfaced at some point. Perhaps you can relate to this too …
Are You a Silent Prisoner of Shame?
If I were to name one thing that has the most impact on a person’s happiness and experience of life, it would be their self-worth. Our level of self-worth affects everything – from our health and relationships to our careers and financial abundance. So, let me ask, where do you stand on the spectrum of self-worth? Do you feel good about yourself? Do you love and accept yourself, warts and all? Or are you ‘self-rejecting’, always finding reasons to feel bad about yourself? If it’s the latter, I invite you to read on …
How to Challenge and Change Your Limiting Beliefs
I believe one of the most powerful things we can do if we want to move forward in life is to examine and release our limiting beliefs. Beliefs such as I’m not worthy, I’m not good enough, I can’t trust anyone, I’m a failure, I’m unlovable and their variations are the source of great unhappiness and disempowerment. They serve as a hindrance, preventing us from being, doing and having what we want. They keep us feeling stuck and unfulfilled. This is why if you want to create positive change in your life, you must do the inner work to identify your limiting beliefs and change them into positive, life-enhancing ones …
How to Stay Sane during These Unpredictable Times
I hope you are keeping well, safe and, quite frankly, sane. We are living in unprecedented times, and there is a lot of fear, confusion and uncertainty in the air. If you’ve worked with me, you’ll know that I take a holistic approach to problem solving life’s challenges. Here are some practical mental, emotional and spiritual tips to help you stay calm, balanced and empowered through the current coronavirus crisis …
How to Find the Limiting Beliefs You Are Holding
It is said that we are what we believe ourselves to be. Our beliefs are so powerful that they create our reality. They shape our thinking, our feelings, our behaviour, the actions we take or do not take – and as a consequence our experience of life. Holding positive beliefs about ourselves serves us well. They cause us to feel good; they empower us and fuel healthy behaviours. Limiting beliefs, on the other hand, undermine our well-being. They fuel unhealthy emotions and …
How to Stop Caring about What Other People Think of You
How concerned are you about what people think of you? Does it bother you occasionally or a lot of the time? We are all influenced by other people’s opinions to some degree, sometimes without realising it. We might wear an outfit to a social event because we think other people will like it, for example, or refrain from expressing an opinion at work to avoid being thought unintelligent. This is a consequence of our social conditioning and our need to belong – to be accepted and liked …
Is It Time to Reclaim Your Life?
It’s the start of a new year – and a new decade. A time when many of us feel an inner nudge to make changes. It’s certainly a good time to reflect and consider the direction our lives are taking. I believe one of the most important questions to ask ourselves is this: Whose life am I actually living? My own or the one other people want for me? Are you living the life you want, or are you still caught up in trying to meet other people’s expectations? As a therapist, I see …
How to Get Out of Your Own Way and Get What You Want
Have you ever come close to achieving a personal goal or fulfilling a long-held desire, only to somehow mess things up at the last minute? Do you have goals or intentions but find that instead of moving towards them, they drift further away from you? Are you making excuses or keeping busy with distractions rather than pursuing the things you want? If this sounds familiar, you’re engaging in self-sabotage – a problem I come across a lot in my coaching work …
Where’s Your Problem Really Coming From?
Every day in my practice I work with people who are smart, empowered and committed to bettering their lives. They may be facing challenges, but they show up to appointments, and they invest time, money and energy on their personal growth. Usually, they’ve appeared at my door because their situation has come to a head. They’re feeling distressed, confused and unhappy and need some external support to work through their issues. One of the things I bring to the table is …
Are You a People-Pleaser?
I found myself dealing with a very forceful woman the other day who just wouldn’t accept that I couldn’t give her an appointment because I was fully booked up. She refused to hear what I was saying and continued to push at my personal boundaries for several minutes. Feeling the pressure building up inside me, I had to fight with every fibre of my being to not fall back into an old pattern of mine: being a people-pleaser. There was a time in my life when …
How to Be Authentic and Why It’s Important
I don’t know about you, but I’m instinctively drawn to people who are authentic – people who are real, genuine and down-to-earth. There are no airs and graces, no pretences, no fakery. It’s only just dawned on me that whenever I meet someone new, I use this one trait to determine whether I want to pursue a personal or business connection with them. And I don’t think I’m the only one. Whether consciously or unconsciously, I believe many of us seek out people who are authentic. Here’s why …
How to Get over Rejection
I witness a lot of heartache in my therapy work. One of the biggest causes is rejection. The circumstances may be different: for one person it’s being told by their spouse of twenty-five years that he or she wants a divorce, for another it’s not being asked out on a second date; for someone else it’s not getting the job they wanted after an interview, or being slighted by a close friend; rejection comes in many forms. But the feelings that arise from it are always the same: pain, anger, disappointment, self-doubt, sadness and despair. I’m pretty sure you can relate to these feelings …
How to Establish and Maintain Healthy Boundaries
Would you ever leave your house without securing the doors and windows? Or, leave your car unattended, unlocked, with the windows down?
I’m sure you wouldn’t. No one wants their property ransacked, stolen or tampered with.
I find it interesting that we all invest a considerable amount of time and energy in keeping our belongings safe, yet when it comes to keeping ourselves safe, psychologically and energetically, we pay far less attention ...
How to Recognise the Toxic People in Your Life
You probably know as well as I do that the quality of our relationships directly affects the quality of our lives. Healthy relationships are good for us. They have a positive effect on our mental and physical health, enhance our lives, help us grow into better versions of ourselves, and even cause us to live longer. Unhealthy relationships are not good for us. They have an adverse effect on our mental and physical health; they diminish the quality of our lives, cause us pain and hurt, and degrade us. People who value their inner peace and happiness always keep their relationships under regular review …
How to Not Take Things so Personally
You may recall that last month I began a series of newsletters focusing on the personal habits of happy people. Happy people tend to think and behave in ways that allow them to feel peaceful and content, no matter what’s going on around them. With a little effort, we can all learn to do this. The first of these habits, which I wrote about last time, was letting go of grudges. This month I’m going to focus on happiness habit two: how to not take things too personally. I think you’ll agree that many people struggle with this one. Someone says or does something, and before you know it your mood has plummeted and you’re upset or angry …
How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
Do you constantly compare yourself to other people? Do you often find yourself thinking that other people have more than you or are better than you? The comparison game is as old as humanity itself. I guess we all want to know how we measure up to other people. This drive is a part of our innate desire to understand ourselves, and our place in society. In recent times, however, social comparison has risen to a whole new level thanks to social media. It’s almost become an epidemic. Theodore Roosevelt said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” And he was right …
How to Ditch the Drama
Is there someone in your life who’s always creating drama? You know, the person who constantly overreacts to everyday events and behaves in a melodramatic, attention-seeking way. They always have a crisis going on: always someone to be angry with, something to complain about, something to cry about. Peace and balance are not qualities that you can readily associate with this person. In fact, conflict with others seems to be their natural default position. If you’ve ever associated with someone who loves drama …
How to Handle Overwhelm
Overwhelm. I bet you’ve been there; the times when you’ve almost been immobilised by having too much to do and too little time to do it in. I know I have. Very many times in fact, especially when I was younger. Life is a constant juggling act, and every now and again we are all faced with the fear that we have more on our plates than we can handle. I think I can speak for everyone when I say that there’s nothing worse than that sickening feeling that arises when you think the intensity of your thoughts and emotions is about to get the better of you …