Are You Struggling to Find Your Purpose in Life?
2020 was an extraordinary year.
Not only did we witness a massive upheaval on the physical plane, affecting everything from our livelihoods to family life, we also saw a huge spiritual awakening occur right across the globe.
For many it was a crisis or unforeseen change in circumstances, for others simply the gift of more time that compelled them to go inwards; to connect with the deeper parts of their being and reflect deeply on their lives.
Why am I here?
What fulfils me?
What’s my purpose?
These questions inevitably surfaced at some point.
Perhaps you can relate to this too.
I’ve certainly seen this issue crop up more frequently when working with clients and find it’s often accompanied by confusion and angst.
Some people go round in circles trying to find their purpose, only to become frustrated and disheartened, while others become stuck in fear and indecision (an issue I’ll address in my next blog).
It saddens me to see this because much of this anxiety could be avoided through simply correcting certain mistaken notions and shifting perspective.
A number of myths exist around what it means to have a life purpose, and I’d like to dispel a few of the most common. Have you unwittingly subscribed to any of these?
My Purpose Must Be Connected to my Career
While your purpose may indeed lie in doing meaningful work in the world, this is certainly not the case for everyone.
A sense of purpose can be found in many different aspects of life. For example, what is more purposeful than lovingly caring for your family or bringing up children? Or volunteering your time and money to help those in need in your community?
Expressing your creativity in the form of art, writing or music, working with nature, fulfilling a personal life goal, working on your own growth and development, all of these pursuits can bring meaning to your life if they draw out your unique essence.
There’s Something Special I Have to ‘Do’
Living with purpose is not so much about what you are doing, but your state of being as you are doing it. Any activity – preparing a meal, washing the dishes, talking to a stranger – can be filled with purpose if we bring to it an attitude of love and service, or in Mother Teresa’s words if we do “small things with great love”.
In fact, our deeper purpose may centre on the personal qualities we are here to either overcome or cultivate. Perhaps you are learning to release a pattern of dependence on others and develop true independence, for instance, or to move from self-criticism to loving yourself and others.
My Purpose Must Be Grand and World-Changing
It’s easy to feel daunted if you think your purpose involves doing something momentous. Yes, some people are on a mission to positively change the world, but they tend to be the exception.
For you, it may not be about feeding impoverished communities in the Third World or saving the world’s endangered species; it could simply be playing beautiful music for others to enjoy, helping friends solve their problems, lending a listening ear, or bringing more love and laughter into the lives of others.
My Purpose Will Magically Emerge out of Nowhere
It’s tempting to believe that one day, out of the blue, you’ll be struck by a bolt of lightning and will just know what to do with the rest of your life. It rarely, if ever, happens this way.
The truth is, your purpose can only emerge if you actively engage with life; if you make decisions that align with your inner guidance, take action, respond to whatever is showing up in your life and then adapt as necessary.
Your purpose isn’t something predetermined ‘out there’ waiting to be found. Rather, it’s something you create through your day-to-day experience of living.
If I Think about It Hard Enough, My Purpose Will Become Clear
A certain amount of self-refection is necessary to deepen your awareness of yourself and to understand your values, passions, skills, talents and motivations.
However, expending a great deal of mental energy won’t help you progress because your purpose isn’t manifested from your mind; it resides in the gentle voice of your soul.
When I Find My Purpose, Life Will Finally Be Perfect
Identifying what fulfils and enthuses you certainly brings a depth, energy and joy to life, but it doesn’t mean that life miraculously becomes blissful and problem-free. As long as we are alive, there will be challenges to contend with, because that is the nature of existence on this planet.
So, now that we’ve arrived at a more supportive understanding of what it means to have a life purpose, what are the practical things you can do to bring it more centre stage in your life? Here are some suggestions.
1. Engage in Self-Reflection
The Japanese concept of ikigai is a helpful aid to deepening self-understanding and identifying what drives you, especially if you feel your purpose is connected to your work. Translated into English, ikigai means your reason for getting up in the morning – the joy of doing something combined with a sense of meaning and well-being.
A person’s ikigai lies at the intersection point between what they love (their passion), what they’re good at (their vocation), what they can get paid for (their profession), and what the world needs (their mission).
To identify your own ikigai, try this short exercise.
Carve out an hour of undisturbed time. Take a sheet of paper and without restricting yourself in any way jot down all the thoughts and feelings that arise in response to the following questions. With each idea ask yourself, What else? until nothing more comes to mind.
a) What do I love to do? What brings me joy? What activities make me lose track of time? b) What am I good at? What are my strengths and skills? What do people ask me for help with? c) What does the world need? What inspires me? What do I feel passionate about? What do I feel motivated to change in the world? d) What can I get paid for? What product or service could I sell? What job could I do?
Even if you focus only on the first two questions, you will get many helpful insights.
2. Give Yourself Permission to Explore
Just as a stuck train is difficult to manoeuvre, your Higher Self cannot direct you if you remain stationary and refuse to step into the temporary discomfort of the unknown.
Clarity comes from being in a state of motion and allowing the universe to give you energetic feedback through your visceral experiences – because that’s how your Higher Self communicates with you.
For example, perhaps you feel drawn to work with young people and decide to help out at a youth club. A little way down the road, you either find you love it or it’s not for you. In both instances you’ve received valid feedback and can adjust your route accordingly.
It’s important to be open to exploring different options. Many years ago, my therapist gave me a wonderful piece of advice. She said, ‘Follow the colour.’ Which is to say, whenever an opportunity presents itself, check in with yourself and ask if it feels expansive and bright. If it does, follow that feeling, even if you’re not sure where it will lead.
3. Understand the Spiritual Map of Your Life
Ultimately, the highest purpose of our lives relates to our soul’s progress and evolution. We incarnate to both evolve through our karmic lessons and to serve others. Each of us has a spiritual plan that creates an energetic blueprint for our lives, shaping our experiences and optimal life possibilities.
Understanding the spiritual significance of your life can give you tremendous insight into what you are here to do. If this interests you, it may help you to learn about your Soul Plan.
Your Soul Plan will shed light on the lessons you are here to learn, your goals, your physical and spiritual talents, your gifts, and how you can align all of these energies in the everyday task of living in the material world. It will also illuminate your soul’s destiny, which is your deepest spiritual purpose.
If you are struggling to find a sense of direction, this can be very helpful.
I’ll leave you with one final thought: there are no right or wrong answers here. You can find purpose and meaning in absolutely anything. You get to decide.
So, in your daily life, think of your purpose as a luminous gold star, infused with joy and the spirit of service. Allow this star to radiate from your heart and stamp it on any activity or experience you are engaged in, even if it’s merely mopping the floor!
Now that’s something we can all do, wouldn’t you agree?
