How to Find Freedom from Fear and Live Your Purpose
It’s no secret that people who embody a sense of purpose live longer, happier and more fulfilled lives.
Every day I meet people who long to realise this aspiration. People who feel a strong impulse to align their work in the world to who they really are, to live their lives authentically, and to be of service to others.
Since you’re reading this, I’m guessing you feel this way too.
Deep down, you yearn to follow your heart; to reach for the vision that emanates from the highest aspects of your being.
Except that … one thing keeps stopping you in your tracks.
FEAR.
Fear can be a debilitating emotion, unless you understand why it is showing up and are willing to actively work through it.
When you are on the threshold of a significant life change, fear surfaces because your ego tries to convince you that changing course and setting foot into the unknown is a threat to your safety (not necessarily physically but emotionally and psychologically).
Whether you want to start a business, change career, devote yourself to a cause or write a book, your ego wants to protect you by keeping you cocooned in the familiar, predictable and comfortable. It wants to keep you safe.
The fear is not a sign that something is wrong; it is simply a basic survival mechanism that is being inappropriately activated.
The reality is that most of what we fear is irrational, unjustified and almost never happens. Therefore, instead of succumbing to the anxiety and self-doubt and letting it paralyse you, you need to find a way to face it down.
In this blog, I’d like to share three ways to do this.
Step 1: Identify Your Fears
Pushing away your fear will only make it stronger, so the first step is to acknowledge its presence. Ask yourself, What exactly am I afraid of? Get specific and pin down each fear. Our fears can be subtle at times and buried under layers of guilt, sadness and anger, so you may have to dig deep to unearth them.
Here’s an exercise that can help you do this.
Take 30 minutes of undisturbed time and write down your answers to each of the questions below, without judging or censoring yourself. You’ll find that the act of writing not only aids clarity, it can also help to alleviate some of the anxiety you are feeling.
a) In my heart, what do I really want to do? What do I feel called to do? What would fulfil me?
b) What is getting in my way? What are the obstacles? Are these obstacles internal or external?
c) What is the fear that is preventing me from dealing with or overcoming this obstacle?
d) What’s the worst thing that could happen if I were to follow my heart and do this? What would I lose?
Step 2: Reframe Your Fears
Once you have a clear picture of what it is you are afraid of, square up to your fears: examine them; challenge them; and then overturn them.
Our fears are a product of our conditioning, subconscious beliefs and habitual negative thoughts. Instead of accepting every fearful thought as fact, we have the ability to adopt a different perspective and create a healthier, more empowering thought.
In my experience, there are some common themes that show up whenever a person is inwardly challenged to do more meaningful work in the world. Here’s how you might reframe these common fears.
I’m afraid I’m not good enough and don’t have what it takes.
Reframe: I know that, like everyone else, I have untapped potential. I can’t truly know what I’m capable of unless I take a leap of faith and try this out. I trust that I can acquire the knowledge and skills I need along the way. I have the capacity to learn, develop and grow.
I’m afraid I might fail.
Reframe: Even if things don’t turn out quite as I imagine, I will have learnt something in the process. I’ll have gained valuable experience that I can use in a different arena. I am willing to find joy, adventure and meaning in the journey itself rather than fixating on the destination.
I’m afraid I’ll make a mistake and find this doesn’t fulfil me after all.
Reframe: Instead of seeing things as right or wrong, I know that any decision I make is leading me down a certain path. If I don’t like it, I can always retrace my steps. Aside from having children, there are rarely any decisions in life that cannot be revoked.
I’m afraid this is too much of a risk.
Reframe: I accept that most things in life – learning to drive, getting married, buying a house – involve some risk. But, provided I’m not putting those who depend on me in harm’s way, it’s a risk worth taking given what I stand to gain. I accept that success is not guaranteed, but that doesn’t mean I won’t be rewarded in other ways.
I’m afraid other people will judge, criticise or reject me.
Reframe: At the end of the day, I am here to pursue my own destiny. If people judge or disapprove of me, it’s because they are projecting their own fears and limiting beliefs onto me. Those who truly love and care for me will support me in finding greater authenticity and fulfilment.
I’m afraid of losing status, money and security.
Reframe: Doing something new may mean I have to give up something, at least temporarily. But by staying as I am, am I not losing out too? I’m missing out on opportunities and the experience of being inspired, motivated, passionate, joyful, energised. Getting closer to the life I want will involve some trade-offs, but those trade-offs may pay off in ways I can’t yet imagine.
I’m afraid of stepping out of my comfort zone.
Reframe: I recognise that discomfort is part and parcel of growth. It’s natural to feel uncertain and unsure of myself when setting foot in new territory. But soon enough the new will become familiar and what was once discomfiting will have become second nature.
Step 3: Heal Your Fears
On its own shifting your perspective is unlikely to cut through the fear completely because it is not only your mind that is involved; your physical, emotional and energetic bodies are also impacted. The energy of fear can accumulate in the body and therefore you will need to work on releasing it.
Emotional Freedom Technique, popularly known as tapping, is a powerful self-healing tool that you can easily learn and use to do this. Combining ancient Chinese acupressure with modern psychology, the practice involves tapping with your fingertips on specific meridian points on the head, face and upper torso while focusing on the fear you are experiencing and related physical sensations.
Tapping on the meridian points allows you to access the body’s energy, lessens the intensity of the emotion (in time eradicating it) and restores energetic balance within the body. It has been scientifically proven to alleviate anxiety.
There are many online resources available to help you learn the technique – it’s very simple. This short introductory video will get you started.
If despite your best efforts, however, you are still struggling to pinpoint why you feel afraid and to overcome your anxiety, then the problem may lie in the realms of your unconscious mind and hidden energetic blocks. These could be unconscious beliefs, hidden ego programmes and even past lives. Or else, heavy karmic patterns may be suppressing the expression of your innate gifts and talents. All of these blocks can be dissolved through Divine Healing. If you’d like to know more, take a look here.
When all is said and done, we all have a choice. The choice is whether we allow fear to crush our dreams and keep us from honouring our soul’s calling or whether we courageously confront it and see it for what it is – an illusion.
As Oprah Winfrey reminds us:
“There is no greater gift you can give or receive than to honour your calling. It’s why you were born. And how you become most truly alive.”
